Posted by: Chaz | February 6, 2009

Wraping up Fireproof Bible Study

Lori and I have been leading a Bible Study in our home for the past 5 weeks and it really has been a blessing.  We are doing the Fireproof study that is based on the movie Fireproof and we have 6 couples meeting with us every week.  Fireproof is a couples study to help better our marriages and God has used this past weeks to better my relationship with Lori.  It is so easy to let little things creep into your marriage and become a parasite, something that drains the relationship dry.  Lori and I have identified parasites in our marriage that we want to work on.  We want a strong and healthy relationship with each other.

It is so important in our marriages that we always look for ways to be better at what we do.  It is so easy to fall into a production or a show when it comes to marriage.  Most couples put on a show for everyone, that show is seldom the reality of what really happens at home.  At Disney I work on the Little Mermaid Stage.  Every few months we have a cleaning night.  We call it ‘polishing the turd.’  (I hope that doesn’t ruin the magic for you.)  The reason we say that is the stage is old, and many things are worn out.  You, the guest, don’t see it because you come into the theater while the lights are all down and the effects are all working, but come into the theater when all the house lights are up and you will see a different stage.  You can see pieces cut out of the wall from the old Muppet’s show that was there before Mermaid.  things are dusty and worn out.  We use bubble machines in there, but that bubble juice gets on everything, I mean EVERYTHING, and then dust sticks to that so everything is dusty and grimy.

You get the point.  I have been praying for God to bring up the house lights in our marriages so that we can see what needs work on.  Stop looking at our marriages through the show lights, that are made to cover blemishes and make things look neat, instead bring up the pure white lights that hide nothing so we can see what truely needs work on.  And then, once we see the things that need work, that we would be willing to actually work on fixing those things.


Responses

  1. So great that you are working on the parasites in your marriage. So many times we identify them and then don’t do anything about them.

    My husband and I are about to start the study with our small group and some couples coming along just for the study. Any pointers? We’d love to hear from you.

    • Louise, Thank you for the comment. I am excited that you and your husband are doing this bible study. The study material is a little weak at times, but don’t be afraid to ‘dig’ for answers. Sometimes it can be easy to take the ‘Sunday school’ answer and move on, but try to really think about what the study guide is asking and get to the root of that. Our study was great, every couple (8 in all) came out of the study with a better understanding of their marriage strengths and weaknesses. God Bless you as you start this journey.

  2. Hi Chaz -

    I am the admin asst at The Lighthouse Church in Vancouver, WA. I see you and your wife have lead a fireproof group. I am wondering how it went, any tips you might have, how you like the bible study book , The Love Dare book (did you all go thru that at the same time as you were doing the group), how attendance was for the 6 weeks (as it could be a “heavy” group for some), how long each weeks group typically took (looks like there is a lot to cover each session), etc? And did you do all the study questions each time and all together as a group – or leave some questions for home?

    My husband & I are planning on leading the 6 week group in soon…and wanted to get a sense of how other’s groups have gone.

    Thanks so much.

    • Hi Mona,
      My wife and I really enjoyed leading the Fireproof study. It went really well and all the couples enjoyed it. We didn’t do the Love Dare book with the study, but one couple did and said it was very good to do both. They really enjoyed the study and the Love Dare together.

      I really liked the bible study, and the video clips help get the discussion going. The book is good, but at times the questions seemed too simple for me. I always want more discussion, and I want deeper discussion, so I had to add some questions each week to really get to the heart of the issue.

      The attendance held very good. Every couple was committed to the six weeks and we only had one or two couples that floated in and out through out the study. We gave ourselves 1 1/2 hours for the whole study and that was just enough time. I had to leave for work after, so we were really held to that time slot. I think an 1 1/2 hours is plenty of time, but you may use another 30 min. after for hanging out and talking. Some of your best time can be during that time when you can talk one on one with other couples.

      We stayed as a group for all of the studies except one, the one on Breaking Free. We split into men and women and my wife lead the woman’s group. It was a very good night.

      As far as the questions, I didn’t always do all the questions. I would skip some or add some of my own here and there. We gave the couples homework every week to do. At the start of the next study I would open with prayer requests, then I would ask if anyone wants to share what they learned from homework from the past week. I didn’t pry, just let them share what they wanted. Which leads to a VERY important rule to this whole study. Strongly encourage couples that they only share what BOTH are comfortable sharing. We let the couples know that there are things to share with the group, then there are things that you share with each other in the car ride home. Don’t let some husband or wife start airing their dirty laundry or listing their complaints while the spouse is dying of embarrassment next to them. Be sensitive to your spouse and their feelings. When you have a moment during the study where you realize something, think about it before you speak, ask, “Is this a group thought or is this something that I need to just share with my spouse first?” The goal of the study is not to ‘hurt’ the other person, but to draw closer to each other.

      Most of all have fun, enjoy the study, and enjoy learning with the couples. I hope this helps with what you are looking for, if not, shoot me an email or a response and I will be glad to give more details. Thanks for reading.

      Chaz

  3. Hi Chaz,

    My husband and I are going into week five of the Fireproof study with a fabulous group of nine other couples who have been married between 22 monthes and 36 years. the diversity of the group has brought a tremendous amount of understanding and insight to all. The group has really bonded and are looking for another couples bible study to do together afterwards. I was wondering if you had any suggestions.

    Thanks,
    Paige

  4. My wife and I is hosting a Fire Proof class that is going very well. I just wanted to know some good ideas on how to end it with a bang. Not just….this is the last class, but something like a small ceremony that will have then excited about taking the next class.


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